Felipe Femur and the Skeletones

Felipe Femur and the Skeletones (group) are a band of underworld jazz musicians. They play gigs at the Lion’s Share and in other places around Toonstone at least once every two weeks. The skeleton crew practice much more than that, often nightly. These cool cats thought it would be the bee’s knees to have all their stage names start with B, so their stage names are Felipe “Bones” Femur, Gummy “Breath” Garou, Runny “Boils” Rotten, and Sunny “Blood” Stoker. Making occasional guest appearances are Melody “Bebop Beauty” Muse the nonverbal banshee on the theremin and Gilli “Boogie Man” Fishel the lagoon creature on the banjo and vocals. The Boogie Man is still in school so he can only do weekend shows and only before his eight O’ clock bedtime. The fact that he disappears between gigs for so long and comes back as a last minute surprise to the audience is how he got the nickname in the first play. He’s far from scar—only scary good on the banjo. As for the main ensemble, they hope to tour with the famous pop musician Loch Ness someday, and have been doing consistent shows to gain a following that they call The Funeral Procession. The band consists of monsters both figuratively in reference to being talented jazz musicians and literally as they are monsters. A skeleton, a werewolf, a witch, and a vampire might seem like an unlikely group of friends, but they make the best jazz this side of the grave.

The Band Members

	Felipe “Bones” Femur Maracas Felipe “Bones” Femur plays the maracas and sometimes the bongos. The skeleton also provides lead vocals when they are called for, but he really shines with his mastery of the maracas, which he considers to be both the most difficult to master and beautiful instrument ever created. He enjoys the fresh sound his maracas bring to the jazz scene and credits them for setting The Skeletones apart from other bands in the genre. Contrary to common belief, he does not play the trom-BONE. Felipe “Bones” Femur excels as the front man, looking cool as a corpse on stage, but he couldn’t do it without the help of his monster band-mates Gummy Garou, Runny Rotten, and Sunny Stoker.
	Gummy “Breath” Garou Saxophone Gummy “Breath” Garou plays the saxophone. This werewolf uses his lack of teeth to his advantage and remains the only werewolf who can play the sax. All others have trouble as their teeth get in the way. Gummy can lay down some hot licks on his saxophone and this is showcased in Felipe Femur and the Skeletones cover song, Moonlight Haze, in which he uses his unique experiences with the moon to play an emotional tune. Gummy started playing to make some bread (money), in order to eat, but his popularity soon grew and so, too, did his stomach and appetite for playing music. His other nickname is “Big Bubba,” which is a name the crowd gave him and one that stuck, unlike “Brains,” “Bottom” and “Buttocks.” His breath is worst than his bite, but it’s nothing but a refreshing breeze when blown through his golden horn.
	Runny “Boils” Rotten Cauldron Drums Runny Rotten plays the cauldron drums. The not-so-wicked witch got her start on the drums by playing the pots and pans in her mother’s kitchen with a spatula and spoon as a child. She goes by the stage name of Runny “Boils” Rotten, but she is nothing but a pleasure to hear, both on her unique drum set and with her backing vocals. Bewitching as it is passionate, Runny’s rhythms keep the other band-mates in tempo and the energy of the music up.
	Sunny “Blood” Stoker Coffin Bass Sunny Stoker the Vampire plays the stand-up coffin bass. He has played the upright bass in other bands throughout his many centuries of living. From playing in a traditional orchestra, to pizzicato in a jazz band in the 1920s, a rockabilly band in the 1950s, a bluegrass band in the 1970s, and a Folk band in the early 2000s, to now with the another jazz band as a Skeletone, Sunny has been plucking the strings of his first coffin bed turned bass for a very long time. He appreciates the low undertones of the bass over the treble of more noticeable instruments, as the bass is a constant, the other tones are more fleeting like phases of his eternal undead life. His stage name is Sunny “Blood” Stoker.
	Melody “Bebop” Muse Theremin Making occasional guest appearances is Melody “Bebop” Muse the nonverbal banshee. Melody plays haunting tunes on the theremin and thus keeps up the tradition of banshees even though she does not have the ability to speak or wail. She is more often than not accompanied by Choral the crab, who is a talented beat poet. The two make unusual but welcome additions to the Skeletones whenever they decide to join. Melody also does solo music and is a huge fan of Loch Ness the famous pop star. Her dream is to one day share the stage with the likes of the talented Loch Ness, but until then, playing with Felipe Femur and the Skeletones is a great pleasure.